A crisis is underway. Boys are falling behind in school, and their college enrollment rate is dropping. Nicholas Eberstadt, in America’s Invisible Crisis: Men Without Work, has shown that the problem continues into adulthood.
But why?
The Absence of Male Role Models
One major factor is the lack of male role models in boys’ lives. According to Pew Research, the U.S. has the highest rate of children living in single-parent households in the world. Nearly a quarter of U.S. children grow up in single-parent homes, with single mothers being far more common than single fathers. In fact, one in five children in the U.S. is raised by a single mother.
This absence of male figures extends beyond the home and into schools, where there is a shortage of male teachers. Fathers and other male mentors play a crucial role in providing structure and discipline — two essential elements that help boys transition into responsible manhood.
Historically, traditional societies understood this need. Boys were often taken under the guidance of their fathers or other male figures in a system that resembled an apprenticeship into manhood. French historian Henri-Irénée Marrou describes how this worked in ancient Rome and Greece:
“From the age of seven onwards the child ceased […] to be entirely in the hands of the women, but in Rome, he came under his father. This is absolutely typical of the Roman system of teaching. The father was looked upon as the child’s real teacher, and even later on, when there were proper teachers, they were still supposed to behave more or less like fathers.”
— (Marrou, A History of Education in Antiquity, 314)
The Stigmatization of Masculinity
Another challenge boys face today is the stigma surrounding healthy masculinity. In her book The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes, Nancy Pearcey argues that modern society often labels masculinity in negative terms, using words like “mansplaining,” “manspreading,” and the broad accusation of “toxic masculinity.”
Furthermore, natural boyhood behaviors—such as physical play and an interest in sticks, tools, and weapons—are frequently mischaracterized as violent tendencies and discouraged in schools. Boys are naturally more energetic and require rough-and-tumble play for healthy development. These traits are not merely social constructs; they are deeply ingrained aspects of male nature.
Developmental Differences Between Boys and Girls
Another key issue is the differing developmental timelines of boys and girls. Author Richard Reeves argues that placing boys and girls of the same age in the same classroom can be counterproductive since they mature at different rates. Girls generally develop faster than boys, which can lead to disparities in academic performance and engagement.
Moreover, the modern co-educational system may not be the best model for either sex. Historically, boys and girls were often taught separately or had access to distinct training programs suited to their unique needs. Today, initiatives designed to support girls are seen as leveling the playing field, whereas similar programs for boys are often criticized as discriminatory.
One notable example of this shift is the decline of the Boy Scouts, which once provided a structured environment for boys to learn valuable life skills.
The Decline of the Boy Scouts
Founded in 1908 in England, the Boy Scouts followed a time-tested model of male development. This program included:
- Separation from female company to foster male bonding and peer camaraderie
- Goal-oriented tasks that instilled a strong work ethic
- Physical activities that taught risk assessment
- Mentorship and training by adult men
- Rites of passage with clear milestones marking the transition into manhood
The slow decline of the Boy Scouts of America represents a broader societal trend—one in which institutions that once supported healthy male development are disappearing, leaving a void in boys’ lives.
The Psychological Impact on Boys
Another significant factor in The Boy Crisis is that boys tend to be more sensitive to both negative and positive early childhood experiences. This means that societal changes—such as a father’s absence or early separation from a primary caregiver (often the mother) due to daycare—can have a greater psychological impact on them. Psychologist Erica Komisar even suggests that ADHD might, in some cases, be a stress response to early maternal separation.
Lessons from Classic Stories
The struggle to become a man is a real one, and many boys today are failing at it. This theme is reflected in classic stories—the very ones Disney films are based on. Consider Aladdin, Pinocchio, Peter Pan, and The Lion King. Each of these tales presents a male protagonist wrestling with responsibility:
- Aladdin frustrates his single mother with his laziness and is easily deceived by a con artist who lures him into a get-rich-quick scheme.
- Pinocchio is constantly distracted from his goal of becoming fully human, symbolizing the journey from boyhood to manhood.
- Peter Pan refuses to grow up, preferring instead to remain the eternal boy and leader of the Lost Boys.
- Simba, in The Lion King, initially resists returning to fight for his rightful place in the kingdom.
These stories highlight a common theme: the temptation to avoid responsibility and remain in a state of perpetual boyhood.
The struggle to raise strong, responsible men is not new, but it is more urgent than ever. The path to manhood has always been challenging. However, by restoring strong male role models, fostering environments that encourage healthy masculinity, and recognizing the unique needs of boys, we can help them navigate this journey successfully.
Perhaps we should take inspiration from the words of King David to his son Solomon as he lay on his deathbed: “I go the way of all the earth; be strong, therefore, and prove yourself a man.” — (1 Kings 2:2)